I know it’s been a long time, but I’ve been through a lot in the past 3 months and I wasn’t strong enough or ready to write in my blog. In fact, I’ll write a little at a time because there is so much I want to say. You may see postings from my sister Angela (my secretary today) and daughter Misty because they volunteered to help me put it down.
I’m not sure what Misty has posted about the times I’ve been in the hospital recently, but I’ll fill you in a bit. The first time was by ambulance. The chemo had attacked my body, taking my blood counts down so low they thought I might die. They don’t put you on morphine and every drug you can think of if they think you are going to live. They were just trying to make me comfortable. They DID make me very comfortable, so much so that I didn’t know where I was or who I was and my family was very concerned about me. At that time, I received two whole units of blood, platelets, potassium and a myriad of other things to keep me going.
I have to say that I am very grateful to my husband for having the doctors take me off the pain medication. After that, I started to become coherent but the pain remained. That’s when they discovered that my gall bladder needed to be removed and I had surgery for that. It was during this whole thing that I let some people down. I’m sorry, I’m human and well… shit happens. I can honestly say that I gave up on everything and all I wanted to do was to go to sleep and wake up and look at the face of Jesus. But God had other ideas and helped me crawl out of the deep dark hole I was in.
I finally went home and got ready for my next chemo. As soon as I got it, I was back in the hospital again. The chemo attacked my blood cells and there was nothing else they could do. It just seemed like one more thing to take away my faith and hope.
Through this all, it seems like I’ve lost my balance. That second time in the hospital, I managed to fall and break my wrist. Needless to say, I still have this ugly cast on my arm – but rumor has it that I’ll have this off in two weeks, which means that I’ve been blessed with this for seven weeks. So the last time I was released I was left with a walker and wheel chair to use around the house. I’ve been doing o.k. but have fallen twice and had three near misses – but I am getting stronger.
Through these two stays at the hospital, I had a phenomenal group of family and friends who were there to support me. They weren’t giving up on me and I couldn’t give up on them.
I just had my 2nd chemo (in this latest round of chemo) last Thursday and will have another this coming Thursday. It does make me weak and I get sores in my mouth. I also fight fever and any other side effects that come along, but so far I can take it.
My sister Angela came in last Thursday and she has been taking such good care of me that I think I might keep her here. There are so many things I can’t do for myself and she’s like an angel of mercy who just swooped in. For example, last night she was up every half hour checking my temperature to make sure I was o.k.
Of course, you know we have our funny moments too. I was taking a shower this morning and well, you know you are naked when you take a shower. With that, the soap and my balance issue, it was like a giant slip and slide. I started to slip and my sister grabbed me and we both almost went down together! Luckily, she was able to catch us before I broke my other arm and she broke one of hers. Thank God for shower angels!
Well guys, I’m tired now and I still have some physical therapy to do. So until later – God bless you and I love you all.
Donna
Hey Everyone…
Well now that you have that lovely word image of Donna and me taking shape in your head, I thought it’d be the perfect time to say hello. :) I am here until tomorrow and then have to fly back to Michigan.
I must say that we had some great sister time this week (outside the shower LOL). PJ parties - curling up on her king size bed, sipping merlot (don’t worry – I mean literally a sip for Donna), watching DVDs and talking about everything. We were able to have a barbeque with family and friends Sunday before the thunderstorms started and that was a blessing. I’ve also just enjoyed sitting in the Florida room watching her doze away with a content smile thanks to the crooning of Josh Grobin. Normally, I’d probably pass on his music, but I have to say that I have a new appreciation for it after seeing the smile on my sister’s face. We’ve gotten through some of the more difficult times and still find room for humor… like when she was in pain the other night and I asked her what she was going to do because Matthew McConaughey was on his way for a little “sumpin sumpin !” Her response was “Well then I’m in trouble…” - but she still managed that trademark Donna grin. She told me that people say she smiles with her eyes and that is absolutely true. She is beautiful.
In her blog she mentioned that she let people down. Because I was typing for her, it was very tempting to play editor because I can’t stand the thought of her thinking that. I know though that I can’t speak for her or anyone else, but I can say that she has not let me down. She is a fighter and she is a believer. That is all that matters to me.
Angela
