First, I apologize for the length of time between updates. I will try and do better in the future. I had my first chemo treatment on January 4th. I must say that I was apprehensive not knowing what to expect. Anyone who knows me, knows that I hate needles and the thought of having a needle the size of a spike (just kidding) stuck in my chest was causing me some anxious moments. Let me tell you, I would rather have a needle in the same place (port) than to have them searching for a vein every time. It really wasn't bad at all - a slight stick and I was all ready to go.



I have to tell you that Dr. Holladay, my oncologist, is such a sweetheart and has so much compassion. I feel like I am in the best hands with my treatments. And, that goes for the rest of his staff; what wonderful, caring people.



Anyway, they took me into this large room filled with recliners and a view of a pond with a fountain. There should be some pictures in my blog of my first treatment. Well, they got me all hooked up and started me with an antibiotic, anti-nausea, and a steroid. Then came the three chemo medicines. The infusion took about four hours and I don't know why, but I kept waiting for something to happen - what I don't know. I think my biggest fear was I would start projectile vomiting or something.



Actually, I felt pretty good after the treatment - too good. I started thinking that steroids are my friend. Now I know why athletes take them. I was superwoman for about 48 hours - could not sleep, and I think I could have dismantled my house and put it back together again. One thing steroids do is mess with your sugar and mine went sky high. When I came down, I came down hard - steroids are not my friend.

I went back the second day to get a shot to make my body produce marrow so my white blood cell count would not drop. Side effects can start anywhere from 10 hours to seven days after; mine started 7 days after with the most intense bone pain and lasted two days.

I did have some nausea - no vomiting (Thank You God), everything I ate went through me (I have lost 19 pounds), and heart burn is a constant. I have found that I cannot eat burritos (LOL) even though they were good going down, tomatoes and peanut butter give me serious heart burn. I dream about food and watch food TV - I know all the chef's and have most of their recipes because someday I will be able to eat again.

Twelve days after my first treatment I noticed hair in my comb and the thirteenth day I watched as hair came out in handfuls and went down the shower drain. So, on the fourteenth day I went to see my hairdresser and had her buzz me. Now I'm flat, bald and hungry all the time. But, I don't worry about bad hair days.



My second chemo treatment I expected the same pattern. Imagine my surprise when I wasn't superwoman. In fact, I asked the doctor if they forgot to give me the steroid. Apparently, once the chemo builds up in your system the steroid doesn't react the same.

One thing I have noticed is that I am more tired this time around. Half way through this last 21 day interval, I was sitting by myself late one night and I just wanted to be with my mom. Sometimes, only a mom can understand and make you feel better. I cried because I just wanted her to hold me and tell me it was OK.

Guess what? I got this cute wig and boobs! They (boobs) feel like the real thing and will do me until I have the breast reconstruction. Do you know how nice it is at the end of the day to take off your hair and your boobs?

Anyway, life goes on and I try to make the best of this and know in my heart that I will come through - but for the grace of God go I.

I think that anyone who has cancer, walks the journey a little differently. For myself, I try to stay positive, to see the humor in the whole situation and keep my faith in God. One last thing, you all have touched my heart as no one else could with your prayers, support, and just listening to me when I need to babble. Thank you and I love you all.