Well, it's four down and two to go and I gotta tell you, it doesn't get any easier. In this last treatment the (ugly) red medicine was given to me in a more concentrated form and really made me feel weird. I got a headache, a hot flash, dizzy and nauseated, all in about 30 seconds - not fun. I have been very weak, tired and diarrhea everyday, all day (sorry).
Sometimes when I am awake late at night (like I am tonight) I know that I think thoughts that I should not. I do think about having cancer. There is so much more that I want to do; I am not ready to leave yet. Life is short and we should live each day to the fullest and like there is no tomorrow. Sorry, I don't mean to be morbid but I have days that are great and I have my not so good days. And, I don't mean to complain because I am alive and God is good. On the other side of these late night thoughts, I dream about eating my way through Italy when this is all over. I really think that I am obsessed with food - probably because it all tastes alike and I don't eat too much of it.
You know many of my friends have said that I am an inspiration but I'm not. I'm just one of the, one out of eight women who gets breast cancer, prays that the surgeon got it all, prays that chemo kills any stray cells, and prays to be a survivor. I am not special; I have many "sisters" in my journey.
Speaking of sisters, my sister, Angela is coming to see me next week and I am so excited. We will get to spend some quality time together. She is a Christian singer/songwriter. If anyone is an inspiration, it's Angela. She has lifted me up more than once during these recent times.
I really miss all my friends at work. You don't realize it but the people you work with become an extended family. We see our co-workers more than we see our own families. So, if anyone from work reads this, know that I do miss you all and look forward to getting back.
I know that I said that I would post a "bald" picture and I will. Be patient. Until next time, God bless.
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My name is Misty and my mom has breast cancer. We are using this blog to share her thoughts, experiences and ramblings with the world. Most of what you see here is written by my mom, Donna, and emailed to me to post here at least until she feels well enough to update this blog herself. Love you mom!
6 comments:
Donna,
I am sorry to hear about your bad day. Keep your chin up, God is with you!
Heidi
Greenwood MO
You know, whether or not you are special is really decided by those who know you :) If someone decides you are special... by definition you are. Something in you caused that decision to be made. If you have affected someone's life and become dear to them, you are special even if you may not agree. One measure of a person can be taken by those who choose to be around them in difficult times. Based on what I see from those you have touched and from the love I see in the family and friends gathering around you while you are faced with these trials, I would say you are most certainly special. Love is given and it comes back to you as well. I feel that you have put a good amount of love into the world. What could be better criteria for being special? What better sign could there be than those who come to your side and would encircle, protect and return love to you? Thank you for writing. Know that things will be better. Know that you are being prayed for by people you don't even know. Accept the reflection of "good" that you are being shown when somene says you are special.
Oh, I'm sorry you're not feeling well. We're praying for you. I hope you have a great visit with your sister. Go outside, let the sunshine warm you, and try to be patient. It takes time to heal.
Donna:
Finally got your correct blog address from Ann.
Sorry about the dinner at Hanks. You sure enjoyed it, though. Next time we come to Charleston, we'll go to the IHOP where you can have eggs and toast.
My headwound has healed so there's just a scar now. I've had some afteraffects, though. Sometimes I'll start to cry for no reason or have no emotion at all when I should be upset. Also seem to be kind of distant from the rest of the world. Hopefully, I'll get back to normal.
Only lost the hair over the wound, though.
I feel so lucky to have made it through without any other injuries.
Your life's been quite a rollercoaster these last months, but so far you have been up to the task.
You are always in our prayers. Audrey wants to come to Charleston this June. We would love to see you if you're feeling up to it.
Chris, Ann and I think of you all the time.
If you want to corrospond privately, just email me.
Will see you in June, if not before. Give our regards to your lovely husband.
Mike
hi mom just wanted to tell you i love you and that i miss you. I'll be home before you know it. I'm trying to get enough money together to move back home as fast as i can. I pray for you every nite that every day is brighter than the next. I also pray that i can get home soon. I miss hanging out with you and dad. I got a second job to day to try to save money so we can move home. that means more time away from my kids and sarai. Iam going to walking in the 3d cancer walk next month. well mom I got to go i love you mom your son John boy
I can't wait to come visit either! And William is right. You are an inspiration for all the reasons he said.
Do you remember a walk we took when you came to visit one summer when I was just becoming a teenager? I wouldn't blame you if you didn't - it wasn't remarkable in any way outwardly. It meant a lot to me. You were the sister I didn't really know very well because you had moved away before I was born and you were taking the time to go on a long walk with ME. I remember how exotic (NOT in the dancer sense LOL) you seemed - you'd been places (places hugely different than Munising - the only place I ever knew... well, besides the Sault thanks to Dad's obsession the boats!), done things with your life and you were so interested in what I wanted to do with mine. You made me feel like we'd been close forever. That is one of my favorite significant memories in my life.
O.K. Enough mush. ;-) I'll be there soon! Love you!
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