Monday, March 17, 2008

From Donna

I had my second chemo treatment last Thursday. my platelets were down but not low enough to stop the treatment. Jane and Deborah were with me but I stayed awake so no green (or other color) toe nails.

I had questions that I wanted answered - well part of me wanted the answers and part did not. I wanted clarification as to the location of the cancer. I have two small spots on my liver, one in my lung and one in my neck. Then I cried. Jane and Deborah hugged me and gave me the comfort that I needed.

I was told that they don't know if I will live six weeks, six months, six years or what. In other words it's all in God's hands.

And, the pain that I have in my right side, is a fractured rib. I have had this bad cough and apparently I coughed so hard that I fractured my rib.

I will have two cycles (months) of chemo and then I will have another CT, then I will do two cycles again and have another CT. Then I guess we will see where we go from there.

Between my first chemo treatment and my second, I had a major, over the edge complete melt down. I sobbed loudly and cried out to the Lord. I haven't cried like that in a long time. One thing I did realize is that I am depressed and not getting any sleep at all. Well all of that has been rectified - I talked to my doctor and they provide medicine to help me sleep and calm down.

I have spent a lot of time in my bible searching and hungering for answers. I have found that God is loving, merciful, and has His arm around me, walking this journey with me. With the help of my friend, John, we have spent time talking and he has helped me to understand how much God loves me. I am His child, He has already fought the battle for me. I have faith that he will bring me through and heal me.

I sat on my deck this morning with the sun warming me and God and I just talked. What a beautiful creation we enjoy - the trees, flowers, ocean, etc. And, the sad part is, we take so much for granted. Don't let the world pass you by - be a participant and not a spectator. You will not regret it.

Have a blessed day.

3 comments:

Robert said...

It is wonderful that you have so many close friends and family that are with you when things are difficult. That's a really good reflection on the kind of a person you are. There are others out here that are with you too, though you don't know us as well. You are in our prayers and thoughts. Please keep posting!

john said...

Hi mom Ijusted wanted to say I love you and cant wait for us to be there for you like you were all those years for me when I was sick.
now its my turn to be the wind beneath your wings i love you mom you loving son john

Christina said...

Hello Donna,

You don't know me, I work with your wonderful daughter Lisa. I speak with Lisa about you and have been following your journey through this blog. I just want you to know what an inspiration you are and that I think of you often. You have a great spirit and I just love your sense of humor!!! Thank you for opening my eyes to your wonderful outlook on this life. You are truly blessed.

Christina