Thursday, September 06, 2007

From Donna

My 12 year old grandson has an assignment in school to write about someone who inspires him. He asked if he could write about me and wanted to know my cancer story. So, he wrote his essay and I want to share it with you. I am so blessed to have him in my life.

My Inspiration
Anthony Woodward

My grandma’s name is Donna Davis. She is a breast cancer survivor, and she has faced this disease with bravery, a positive attitude, and a sense of humor. Even when she is not feeling well, she is always the first to help her family and others around her. She has a quiet strength that inspires me to know that even when things aren’t going my way, I can make it through anything with my own strength. She has also shown me that I can stand up for myself without being afraid.

Before my grandma found out for sure that she breast cancer, she knew it in her heart that something was wrong. Just before Christmas last year, she had to have surgery to remove the cancer. In the months after the surgery, she went through chemotherapy and radiation treatments. Instead of waiting for her hair to fall off from the chemotherapy, she decided to shave her head herself. She always tells me that bald is beautiful.

I asked my grandma how she was so brave, and she said that it was her faith in God. She said that God walks with her on her journey back to health. She is not afraid of cancer because she knows there are good doctors and medicine to make her well. My grandma was brave in sharing her story with others through her blog on the Internet. Her courage has enabled her to walk her journey with dignity.

From the moment that my grandma found out that she had cancer, she accepted it and decided that she would do whatever it took to cure the cancer. Even when she went through her treatments, which made her weak and were painful, she was always positive. She told me that because she kept a positive attitude, she felt that she made it through without being very sick or being depressed. Her family and friends, who supported her, helped her to keep her positive attitude. In my grandma’s blog, other people have made comments that her positive attitude has been an inspiration to them. My grandma says that when you keep a positive attitude you can get through anything.

My grandma has a lot of great qualities, but there is one that I would like to mention in particular. Grandma says that God has a sense of humor and that He definitely gave her one too because she could not have made it through without a sense of humor. She said that God helped her to laugh at herself and her condition, and to make jokes about it. There was a medicine that grandma took that made her stay awake 24/7, talk non-stop, and made her very hungry. She said that she really acted funny when she took these pills. I think she was loopy. With all that my grandma has gone through, she is happy and looks forward to many years of health and spending time with family and friends. She has inspired me to know that no matter how bad things seem or what may happen, there is always hope and a way to get through anything, with faith in God, and the love and support of those around you.

Tuesday, September 04, 2007

From Donna

OK, so here I am with my lump still intact. Do you know how difficult it is to do nothing (and I said I would not do that)? My doctor looked at my last scan and she also had a pathologist look at it and she really felt that the lump is nothing to be concerned about. It is soft, which is a good thing. So for now, she just wants me to watch it and if it changes, let her know.

I do have a lot to tell y'all. Since my lump episode, I went on vacation to Michigan's Upper Peninsula. Yep, I'm a Yooper! It was great seeing my mom, brothers and sisters etc. Every time I hugged one of them, I had a melt down. You just never know if and when you will see them again.

My sister got remarried to her ex-husband - anything worth doing once is worth doing again. I am so happy for her. Tom is a great guy. I even did a little dancing at the reception. I caught up with old friends and reminisced.

I had lunch with Judy and Janis, two of my high school buds - Class of 66'. Here is a pic of the three of us.

On my list of things to do before I die (in about 50 years), I wanted to stay at the Holiday Inn that overlooks Munising Bay (Lake Superior). Yep, not a lot of high aspirations for me - the Holiday Inn will do! Anyway, the view from the balcony was absolutely beautiful. As you can see from the pic.

Isn't this an awesome view? One night I stayed up late - after midnight to watch the Perseid meteor shower. There were about 60 meteors per hour - the sky was pitch back, with a billion stars, and meteors flashing across my view.

Just goes to show you how insignificant we are in the grand scheme of things.

I have got to share another fantastic photo "op" with you. I was out on the lake and took this pic of a family of eagles on Grand Island using my zoom lens.

I got back from vacation on August 16th and attempted to go back to work on the following Monday. I started coughing during the day and my throat was bothering me so I went to the doctor the next morning. They took x-rays and found out that I have bacterial pneumonia. I guess because my immune system was basically non-existent, it was easy for me to get sick and I probably got it on vacation. So for now I am home but hope to go back to work soon.

I did see my radiation oncologist today and I do have - guess what - another lump. It's kind of under the arm in the bend. It is a hard lump (not good) but again we are watching it. I admit it, I did break down and cry when she told me. I am due to see my surgeon soon and I am going to get his opinion on what I should do at this point.

My daughter, Misty and her family are now living here. They are staying with us until they can get on their feet and find a place to live. I must say that it is quite different having three kids in the house. Yes, I do freak out from time to time. After all, I have not had kids around in years and my house is just not "kid friendly". But, you know me, I have my rules and as I told the kids - I'm their worse nightmare! LOL

I do love my grandchildren and it is good to have them close.

So, that's it for now. God Bless.

Wednesday, July 25, 2007

From Donna...

So, I was getting out of the shower this past Saturday, looked in the mirror and said, "What the hell is that?" Sorry for the cussing but it just came out when I saw a lump protruding from what is left of my chest. When your chest is a flat as mine, you just can't miss a bump, lump or whatever. I can tell you that it wasn't there last Friday. I just wanted to crawl in bed, pull the covers over my head and sleep for about 100 years.

Anyway, I talked to the Doctor today and she is going to go back and look at my CAT scan and have a pathologist look at it also. The bad thing is that radiation tends to make everything look suspicious so looking at my CAT scan may not help the doctor. At this point she cannot rule out cancer but she is leaning toward it NOT being cancer. There are several other possibilities. She thinks at this point they may just want to watch and monitor it or if it would give me a better comfort level, they could biopsy it. Now what do you think I am going to do? You can bet that I am going to get a biopsy, otherwise I know I will worry and I will think about it every time I feel the lump or look in a mirror.

Of course, you know with my chest being so flat, a bump may not be a bad thing. Every little bit helps! LOL

In my heart I know I am OK. God is with me and I know He won't give me more than I can handle and I know that He knows that I could not handle that right now.

The good news is that I only have two radiation treatments left. I am a little sore in the areas that have been treated and my skin is discolored and dry. The radiation has fatigued me. But, I am blessed. Everyday I'm alive is a good day.

I will update y'all when I know something for sure.

Wednesday, June 27, 2007

I have now completed 10 radiation treatments, or two weeks worth, which leaves 23 more treatments. I feel good, except for a little tiredness. I will probably start to see more effects this week (slight burn to the skin). I am using a cream on my skin to keep it from drying and cracking.

I have had all kinds of pretty colors used to draw all over my chest - purple, green, blue - with Xs, lines, and stickers. The best part for my grandchildren is that they firmly believe that I have a treasure buried in my chest because "X" does mark the spot. My daughter tried to talk me into letting her take pictures of me during radiation. I told her nobody was going to get to see my road map. She did take some pics though which will be posted with this blog. My doctor, Dr. McDowell, is also in one of the pics.

Speaking of my grandchildren, they left last Thursday to go back to Chicago; but they will all move back here in August. My daughter found a studio in historic downtown Summerville and is already starting to grow her business.

Unfortunately, our photo sessions were rained out for the day that we had scheduled, but Misty is going to reschedule for August and still donate part of the proceeds to the Charleston Breast Center.

This week besides my five radiation appointments, I have three other doctor appointments. It's always something. I can actually see the hair on my head now. It's all fuzzy.

Take care y'all.

Friday, June 08, 2007

From Donna:

It's about time for an update. As you all know, I finished chemo in April. Since that time I have had a lot of doctor appointments and preparation for radiation. I had a CT (May 18th) and everything looked good - praise God.

I also met with the doctor who will do my radiation. I will have 6 1/2 weeks of treatments - 5 days a week. The side effects are fatigue and a bad burn (like a sunburn). A permanent side effect is that the ribs on my right sight will be weakened, which means I could break a rib easier. Because of the area that is being treated, I had to have my life port removed, which I had done on June 1st. I was awake for the procedure but I was given something to take the edge off, so I didn't care.

I have had two more CTs since May to "mark" me for radiation treatments. It wasn't the most comfortable position for me. I had to lay with my arms above my head in brace-like devices for 30 - 45 minutes, with my head turned to the left, and I could not move. My chest looks like a road map, with purple and blue lines, x's and stickers.

I did go to the dentist and get a filling. After about the fourth time that I gagged, I told the dentist that it was pretty bad when I would rather get chemo than go to the dentist. He laughed and said, "Don't tell anyone that."

I have great news. My daughter, Misty, the one who keeps this blog up for me, and her family are moving to South Carolina. I am so excited! I will get to spend so much time with my three grandchildren. They will be here this weekend for two weeks vacation, go back to Chicago and move here in August.

While she is here, I asked her about taking a picture of me with a small group of women who have been with me through my journey with breast cancer and so she is going to do that picture, plus she is scheduling photo sessions at Sullivan's Island for anyone else who would like pictures, and part of the proceeds will be donated to the Charleston Breast Center. My only regret is that my daughter, Lisa cannot be here for the picture as she lives in Oregon.

So, I am ready to start the next step in my journey. Thank you all for your prayers and support.

Tuesday, May 08, 2007

From Donna..

I graduated from chemo (literally) on April 19th. The nurses made me a graduation cap, they all signed it and then took my picture with them. My friend Debora brought me balloons and lunch, and of course, Jane was there. I am so glad that this part of the journey is over.

This month I will have a CT of my chest to make sure the cancer is gone, I will start radiation, and begin a cancer drug that I will be on for five years. The cancer drug has some side effects that do concern me but it's one day at a time and if this drug doesn't work, they have others to try on me. Anyway, my calendar is pretty much filled with appointments this month.

I did not have to have a shot the day after, which meant no steroids - yippee! I have been very tired but otherwise I feel pretty darn good.

I am going to start getting back into the swing of things by starting to work from home this month. Hopefully, I will get a release to go back to work in June.

My hair is starting to grow - it feels all fuzzy. I can't tell yet what color or texture it will be or if it will grow back thicker - that would definitely be OK by me.

I have gone to physical therapy for my right arm. I have had swelling and I am learning how to manage lymphedema. Things that I would normally do, like carrying a bag of groceries, or just doing chores around the house can cause my arm to swell. I don't like this but I have to accept it and learn to deal with it.

Well, that's all for now. God Bless.

Tuesday, April 17, 2007

From Donna on her last chemo treatment.

Before I had my mastectomy in December, my daughter, Misty set up this blogspot for me and asked me to write some thoughts; and for my first blog I wrote some things that I know for sure. So, with my last chemo treatment looming in the very near future, I thought I would tell you what I now know for sure.

- Even though I know I said I could not do this anymore, I will have my last treatment - sometimes emotions just get the better of me.

- I know that I am not superwoman and no matter what I thought about how things were going to be in my life or how I thought I could control what was happening to me, I was wrong. It is what it is and it's definitely out of my hands.

- In the name of Jesus, I am healed. Thank you Anita for reminding me.

- There has been a small group of women: Misty, Lisa, Jane, Susan, Hope, Anita and Debora who have been there with me from the beginning of my journey. I am so blessed to have them all in my life and I thank God for them.

- As I complete this step in my journey with breast cancer, I know that by the grace of God go I and He will guide me and walk with me through the next step.

- I know what is important. I once told my boss that people on their death beds don't say that they wish they had spent more time at work. You have one family and it could all be gone in a moment - don't lose sight of what is important and always say I love you.

- I do know that I will have to get radiation treatments but I will cross that bridge in about a month. At least I will be off the steroids. So if I babble, I have no excuse.

- Writing this blog has been good for me and I plan to continue until.....


Thursday, April 12, 2007

Another note from Donna

I am finally starting to feel human again - of course, it's a week before chemo! Anyway, my husband has a new tattoo and I wanted to share a picture of it with you. The ribbon has my initials on it - wasn't that sweet?

Also, my daughter, Lisa sent me flowers this week and I told her that I would put a picture of them on my blog so that she could see what they look like. What a nice surprise.

I will update everyone just before I go in for my final treatment. Take Care.

Friday, April 06, 2007

From Donna...

Just a quick update to let you all know what I did last night. So, I was looking for something to do and found a few things to occupy my time. I made a sandwich for Jim's lunch, washed a few dishes, got back online and printed out several recipes from FoodTV - love those chefs, made some organic popcorn (YUCK), and watched a Steve Martin movie. Jim got up at 4:00 A.M. and asked me if I had made it to bed at all. So, I decided to go to bed. I was still awake at 5:00 A.M. but fell in and out of sleep somewhere during 5 and 6 and slept like that until about 9:30 A.M. So, I have been in my pjs all day doing other stuff and napping (or trying to) from time to time.

Have a Blessed Easter.


Another note from Donna

It's been suggested that I provide more information in my blog regarding my experiences with chemo. It's not that I haven't been honest but I probably do hold back on some things - was saving it for the book! ;)

And, since I am starting to feel better from my last go-around, this is your lucky day. All you inquiring minds who really want to know the truth - here goes. But, let me tell ya', you are all sick!

-Ok, I hate chemo even though I get a snoopy or bugs bunny band aid on my port after treatment. After the last treatment I sat in my living room, knowing full well that I have one more treatment, telling my husband, "I can't do this anymore." It's not pleasant, I do not look forward to diarrhea, weakness, killer heartburn, the incredible painful sensitiveness all over my body, especially in the area of my mastectomy scars, the feeling of uselessness during the "after effects" time, etc. etc. etc. The good news is no projectile vomiting (other than words) and no constipation - Yippee.

-And, yes I do think about dying. I can't help it, it is what it is.

-Then just when I start feeling better (about six days later), I start three days of steroids, which I also hate. Steroids are NOT my friend. How do athletes take those things? Maybe if they were building muscle or toning my arms - nah, I still wouldn't like them. I know that they help with the bone pain but they also increase my sugar level (Type II Diabetic), keep me awake (sleeping pills don't help), and they make me a babbling idiot for 3 - 5 days; like right now as I am on my second day. Picture a "flat, bald, crazy woman projectile vomiting about 50,000 words per minute. Here's an example. One Friday night Jim got home from work and I never shut up from the time he hit the front door until I got a little upset because I was not getting the response that I expected (this is about two hours later). He finally told me that he was just tired and it was just too much information coming at him at one time. Go figure!

-The good news is that I have not become anemic. I continue to hold my own thanks to Neulasta shots and incorporating more fish and other protein into my diet. Speaking of diet; I have hovered between a 15 - 20 pound weight loss - I lose weight right after chemo and gain back some weight the week before chemo because I feel so good. And, yes I do have a slight metallic taste in my mouth after treatment but it seems to lessen during my three week intervals.

-But, let's talk about the sores in my mouth - another side effect. My mouth bleeds from the sores in the back of my mouth and my teeth hurt. I wake up some mornings with the taste of blood and spitting blood. I who dislike the dentist almost as much as chemo am actually looking forward to seeing the dentist when this is over.

-I have had some swelling in my right arm. It was my fault. I know that I have to be careful because I am at risk for lymphedema. I decided to throw a ball for my dog and after throwing it several times I felt a pulling in my arm. The swelling was not major but it was uncomfortable. My doctor says that I have to be patient and that it's not yet time to strengthen my arms but, to keep doing my range of motion exercises.

-Prescriptions - I have an 8 X 10 sheet of paper listing all the medications that I take. I cannot wait until I am done with my last treatment so I can gather them all up and do whatever. Some of the side effects from these drugs are very bothersome. Enough said about that!

-I think what frustrates me the most is that the spirit is willing but the flesh ain't able. I have laid in bed or on the couch knowing that I should pay the bills, check emails, or just make a sandwich and I just can't do it because my body is weak and I just don't care. I have always been able to take care of myself and for once I have encountered something that I have no control over and I have to depend on others for my care, yes, even my survival - from the doctors, to my family, to my friends, and yes, even strangers. I am humbled by the compassion, love, support and prayers that I have received from everyone.

-Well, I am rambling (gotta love those steroids - NOT) although it is 1:00 A.M. in the morning. I hope that you have experienced a little more of my journey. I do not intentionally hold back - I am the type of person who just "deals with it" and goes on and I don't always commit everything to print. Nothing Like Spilling Your Guts! :)

I'm finished for now but I'm still wide awake. Have to find something to do - but what? I'll let you know later what I did. See ya!

Saturday, March 31, 2007

From Donna...

Well, here it is, the long awaited "bald shot'" I told y'all I looked cute bald!

Between my last treatment and now, my sister, Angela came to visit. I told her to come the week before chemo because that's when I feel my best. We had such a great time. You know that she is my baby sister. When she came along, I was grown up and getting ready to get married so I really didn't know her. We spent one day in our pjs just talking all day - what fun. It was a day of talk, FoodTV, catching up, and just being sisters. She and my dog, cocoa are now best friends. The time was so short with her. It seems like she just got here and she was gone. I really miss her and our time together was precious - it really gave me a chance to get to know her.

When we took her to the airport and we were waiting to go through baggage check, who was also standing in line but Laura Bennett off of Project Runway. Angela saw her and of course, you all know me, I walked up and introduced myself and then we proceeded to tell her what fans we are and how we had rooted for her during the competition. In case you are scratching your heads wondering what the heck I am talking about, Project Runway is a competition for clothing designers to become Top Designer and start their own label.

I have included a couple pictures for the blog from my sister's visit and a picture of me and my honey.

I had my fifth treatment yesterday and it went well. I snored through part of it. LOL Only one more to go, then I will take another step in the journey. Those decisions are yet to come. I know that I have said this before but I am so blessed to have been put into the hands of Dr. Hollady. He has made the correct decisions in my treatment and he is so supportive and compassionate. And, to top it off he has a great sense of humor. Thank you God for this wonderful man.

Needless to say I am looking forward to moving on after chemo and I am excited about what the future holds for me. I know that I will be forever involved in breast cancer awareness and that new opportunities await me.

Take Care and God Bless until next time.

Friday, March 16, 2007

I had a great visit with my friend, Susan today. She stayed about five hours and we laughed, cried, and talked about so many things. It was uplifting and I am so grateful that she is my friend.

I started going through some of my old stuff that I have written and came across this poem that I would like to share with you. I wrote it in 1987 after I went back home to Michigan. As I get closer to another step in the completion of my journey with breast cancer, I think that this poem is relative to my own rebirth, not only in spirit but in my own capacity as a human being, a woman and a survivor.



The end of my journey, my last night home,
Above the black of night shines ebony.
Sparkling jewels cling to the darkened dome
A restless spirit quiets within me.

A whisper washes against the white sand,
The touch of His presence brushes my face.
Soft curtains of color dance over land,
The spirit within me calls to this place.

How wide the expanse of the universe,
And, I am a moment a cosmic wink.
My search is certain, but the path diverse
My spirit in time will sustain the link.

As I walk forward and look straight ahead,
I know in my soul my spirit is fed.

Tuesday, March 13, 2007

Well, it's four down and two to go and I gotta tell you, it doesn't get any easier. In this last treatment the (ugly) red medicine was given to me in a more concentrated form and really made me feel weird. I got a headache, a hot flash, dizzy and nauseated, all in about 30 seconds - not fun. I have been very weak, tired and diarrhea everyday, all day (sorry).

Sometimes when I am awake late at night (like I am tonight) I know that I think thoughts that I should not. I do think about having cancer. There is so much more that I want to do; I am not ready to leave yet. Life is short and we should live each day to the fullest and like there is no tomorrow. Sorry, I don't mean to be morbid but I have days that are great and I have my not so good days. And, I don't mean to complain because I am alive and God is good. On the other side of these late night thoughts, I dream about eating my way through Italy when this is all over. I really think that I am obsessed with food - probably because it all tastes alike and I don't eat too much of it.

You know many of my friends have said that I am an inspiration but I'm not. I'm just one of the, one out of eight women who gets breast cancer, prays that the surgeon got it all, prays that chemo kills any stray cells, and prays to be a survivor. I am not special; I have many "sisters" in my journey.

Speaking of sisters, my sister, Angela is coming to see me next week and I am so excited. We will get to spend some quality time together. She is a Christian singer/songwriter. If anyone is an inspiration, it's Angela. She has lifted me up more than once during these recent times.

I really miss all my friends at work. You don't realize it but the people you work with become an extended family. We see our co-workers more than we see our own families. So, if anyone from work reads this, know that I do miss you all and look forward to getting back.

I know that I said that I would post a "bald" picture and I will. Be patient. Until next time, God bless.

Wednesday, February 28, 2007

I met with a Diabetes Educator today. Since I am a type II diabetic, have not been exactly eating right, and I am on steroids (which messes with my sugar), and because food is not my favorite subject right now, my oncologist thought that I could use a little help.

The good news is I really don't have to worry about what I eat right now as long as I eat. So I eat what I can tolerate. Being on chemo, I should be eating high protein and increasing my caloric intake but that does not always work especially when nothing sounds or tastes good.

I did find out that all those cooking shows that I have been watching on Food TV have paid off. I have learned a lot - thanks to Emeril, Rachel Ray, Giada and others. I have started to incorporate a healthier eating style when I do feel well enough to eat, which is usually the week before chemo. I am a real label reader, I use fresh herbs, tons of garlic and have added more fish to my diet. But, I gotta tell y'all, I love my pasta. So, I have switched to a high protein pasta which tastes really good. When this is all over and I can eat again, I will be ready. Or, I might go crazy and OD on chocolate!

Seriously, this is a life style change for me. Cancer was a wake up call. I know that I have to exercise (yuck) and eat right. My goal is to get off the diabetic medicine and control my diabetes with diet and exercise, and to live another 30 years or so. Before I can get breast reconstruction, my doctor wants me to lose 40 pounds. When I succeed, I will probably go off several of my medications that are weight driven. I can remember when I could eat anything, weigh 110 pounds and never worry about gaining - the good old days - before I hit 40. I know that I will never see 110 pounds again, except in my dreams, but that's OK. 140 sounds just right to me.

Tuesday, February 27, 2007

OK, since the last time I wrote, I had my third chemo treatment. My usual buddy, Jane, was not well so her husband, my dear friend went to chemo with me. Now John is not Jane but he is a great guy and like a brother to me - we fight all the time! He stayed with me and only left a few times to take phone calls.

My heart went out to a woman who was also going through chemo. Her right arm was so swollen and she was in such pain - all I could do was lower my head and pray for her. Of course, John, went over to her and talked to her trying to give her comfort - but that's John. He has so much compassion for his fellow man.

Well, for some reason the steroids kicked in and I did not sleep for about 48 hours. I was definitely weaker and more tired this time around. I was in bed from the Friday after my chemo until the following Thursday - I could not function; all I wanted to do was sleep. The bad part was, I did not eat that much because it was too much of an effort to fix myself anything. And, what I did eat went right through me. When I finally felt well enough to eat, I ate too much and made myself sick. I was very close to being anemic last time and I was told that I would be by my next treatment. Yippee, I can hardly wait. :(

Anyway, I am over all that and actually feeling better. Of course, it's a week before my next treatment so naturally I feel good.

I will try and get more pictures taken for the blog - even a bald one. Hey, on me bald is cute!

Wednesday, February 14, 2007

First, I apologize for the length of time between updates. I will try and do better in the future. I had my first chemo treatment on January 4th. I must say that I was apprehensive not knowing what to expect. Anyone who knows me, knows that I hate needles and the thought of having a needle the size of a spike (just kidding) stuck in my chest was causing me some anxious moments. Let me tell you, I would rather have a needle in the same place (port) than to have them searching for a vein every time. It really wasn't bad at all - a slight stick and I was all ready to go.

I have to tell you that Dr. Holladay, my oncologist, is such a sweetheart and has so much compassion. I feel like I am in the best hands with my treatments. And, that goes for the rest of his staff; what wonderful, caring people.

Anyway, they took me into this large room filled with recliners and a view of a pond with a fountain. There should be some pictures in my blog of my first treatment. Well, they got me all hooked up and started me with an antibiotic, anti-nausea, and a steroid. Then came the three chemo medicines. The infusion took about four hours and I don't know why, but I kept waiting for something to happen - what I don't know. I think my biggest fear was I would start projectile vomiting or something.

Actually, I felt pretty good after the treatment - too good. I started thinking that steroids are my friend. Now I know why athletes take them. I was superwoman for about 48 hours - could not sleep, and I think I could have dismantled my house and put it back together again. One thing steroids do is mess with your sugar and mine went sky high. When I came down, I came down hard - steroids are not my friend.

I went back the second day to get a shot to make my body produce marrow so my white blood cell count would not drop. Side effects can start anywhere from 10 hours to seven days after; mine started 7 days after with the most intense bone pain and lasted two days.

I did have some nausea - no vomiting (Thank You God), everything I ate went through me (I have lost 19 pounds), and heart burn is a constant. I have found that I cannot eat burritos (LOL) even though they were good going down, tomatoes and peanut butter give me serious heart burn. I dream about food and watch food TV - I know all the chef's and have most of their recipes because someday I will be able to eat again.

Twelve days after my first treatment I noticed hair in my comb and the thirteenth day I watched as hair came out in handfuls and went down the shower drain. So, on the fourteenth day I went to see my hairdresser and had her buzz me. Now I'm flat, bald and hungry all the time. But, I don't worry about bad hair days.

My second chemo treatment I expected the same pattern. Imagine my surprise when I wasn't superwoman. In fact, I asked the doctor if they forgot to give me the steroid. Apparently, once the chemo builds up in your system the steroid doesn't react the same.

One thing I have noticed is that I am more tired this time around. Half way through this last 21 day interval, I was sitting by myself late one night and I just wanted to be with my mom. Sometimes, only a mom can understand and make you feel better. I cried because I just wanted her to hold me and tell me it was OK.

Guess what? I got this cute wig and boobs! They (boobs) feel like the real thing and will do me until I have the breast reconstruction. Do you know how nice it is at the end of the day to take off your hair and your boobs?

Anyway, life goes on and I try to make the best of this and know in my heart that I will come through - but for the grace of God go I.

I think that anyone who has cancer, walks the journey a little differently. For myself, I try to stay positive, to see the humor in the whole situation and keep my faith in God. One last thing, you all have touched my heart as no one else could with your prayers, support, and just listening to me when I need to babble. Thank you and I love you all.